It’s been sometime. Pasensyahan nyo na kung medyo kinakalawang.
Enjoy!
Barny
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Walk like a man, talk like a man…
sinulat ni barny
I met Chloe in one of the parties organized by the Japanese embassy diyan sa Roxas boulevard. She was in an intense conversation with some indonesian-looking guy nung time na yun. The girl was attractive and looked sophisticated wearing a long sleeved, collared white shirt and short black skirt with matching black stockings. Bagsak hanggang shoulders ang pang-shampoo commercial na buhok and from where I was standing; may pagka-mestisa. I overheard their conversation about some indonesian cigarette I was also familiar with; gudang garam. Napangiti na lang ako. Ngiting napalitan ng pagkabigla when the guy suddenly stormed out of the room, looking upset over something na (I felt was) napakababaw. But that was not the only thing that caught my attention.
The girl…was smiling to herself, almost as if savoring the victory of a won game. Napailing ako pero as I did so, nagkahulihan kami ng tingin, to which she smiled, catching me off-guard. I slightly bowed and smiled (hapon na yata ako), acknowledging our first hint of social interaction.
After a while, nagsimula nang magsi-alisan ang mga tao. It was 9PM at nakita kong grupo-grupong nagsilabasan ang majority…kako ’nijikai’ (next party) na siguro ang mga ’to.
’Hey Bern! Sama ka? ’The Fort’ kami…’ aya ng isang kakilala. I wasn’t expecting to go out tonight dahil maaga pa ang flight ko the next day but what the heck, naanod na rin akong sumama…hipon kasi.
We went to a bar na may bandang tumutugtog. ’Sinosikat?’ was on stage but I couldn’t really care less (hindi rin naman kasi ako fan ng seminal jazz music nila he he). My mind was preoccupied din dahil on the other side of the room, nakita kong nandun din si ‘gudang garam girl’, kasama ang mga staff ng embassy. She looked at ease even with (I imagine) the rough english conversation skills of the embassy people. Sa table ko naman, nag-ta-try ding magkuwentuhan (or more of magsigawan), over the loud music, ang mga kasama ko. I was getting tired of the set-up and a bit worried for my early next-day flight…I was also starting to doubt kung tama nga bang sumama ako. But having nothing else to do, I put up with the boredom.
To while the time, lumabas na muna ako para mag-yosi. Pwede naman sanang sa loob pero as much as I enjoy smoking, hindi ako natutuwa pag binubugahan ng usok sa mukha. It was 12AM. I stood at the pavement, my back at the bar, pilit na pinagkakasya ang kahulihulihang kong cigarrette stick.
’Pati pala filter hinihithit mo? He he’ ang boses mula sa likod.
’Last na eh…’ thinking that it was one of my friends from inside, hindi ko na nilingon.
’Here…made in indo yan’ aya sa akin ng boses na nasa tabi ko na ngayon. Napatitig ako at nabigla to see the girl I had been staring at the whole night.
’Chloe pala…’ she extended her pack of gudang garam with one stick protruding, as if giving me a ’fuck you’ sign that I couldn’t resist. I threw away my cigarrette stub and excitedly went for the ones she’s offering. I missed this brand…matamis sa dila pero babalentungin ang utak mo sa nicotine rush at kakaskasin ang lalamunan mo sa sankatutak na tar content.
’Thanks…Bernard’ I introduced myself as I took a puff sa familiar at may kalakasang amoy na sigarilyo.
’…I was wondering what that smile was..’ I suddenly blurted out without warning na kahit ako ay nabigla (hindi pa rin apparently nakalimutan ng utak ang eksena nila kanina ng pikon na indonesian).
’Which one?’ nakangiting sagot ng dalaga without missing a beat, disregarding my social blunder of being too direct. She had this knowing look in her eyes; mukhang mabilis mag-isip.
’Nung nagkainisan kayo ng mamang naka-batik sa party kanina’ dagdag ko.
’Yun? Ha ha, observant ka pala’ sagot niya…na hindi naman talaga sagot pero pinalampas ko na dahil mukhang ayaw nang mag-elaborate. And that was how our conversation went, magaan lang at parang patalon-talon. I can’t help but notice though, how she manages to get me to answer so many questions while she just shrugged mine with some unusual comment…without really answering.
One hour passed, we were already laughing at my stories of Japan when her friends came out of the bar.
’O! Nandito pala si Chloe eh…magkakilala na kayo ni Bern?’ sabi ng isang kakilala kong hapon na marunong magtagalog. Mukhang tapos na ang tambay nila sa loob.
’We’re going to a club sa malapit…sama ka Bern?’ ang unusual talagang pakinggan ng tagalog nitong si Koji; close your eyes and you’ll think you’re talking to some pinoy konyo na may kakaibang accent.
’Okay lang..you go ahead, my friends are still in there’ sabi ko, thumbing the bar behind us. My personal social rules dictates na hindi magandang basta-basta na lang ako hihiwalay sa mga kasama kong pumunta rito. Pero I was starting to get addicted sa walang direksyon naming conversation ni Chloe, in the same way na na-a-addict na naman ako sa temporary high na dinulot ng indo cigarette niyang ibinigay. I wanted more of it…more of both. Based on her enthusiasm sa kuwentuhan namin, mukhang ganun din ang nararamdaman niya (I assumed). But she had a poker face that was just too difficult to read so I was never really sure.
Luckily, lumabas na rin ang mga friends ko, nag-aaya ring mag-clubbing. Kay nag-volt in na lang ang mga grupo namin as we headed to the nearest club.
———–
Countless bottles of beer and five shots of tequila later. Bugbog sa malalalim na bass sounds ng regaton ang tenga ko. I was dancing with Chloe. May kadiliman sa loob but as my eyes got used to the dim lights, dun ko mas naaninag ang di patatalong pag-giling ng babaeng muli akong pinasilip sa isa pang pahina ng pagkatao niya. She was drawing attention from all sides sa bawat pag-kembot ng makurbada niyang balakang. But she didn’t care…I felt lucky rin dahil ang mga mata ng dalagang tinititigan ng buong dance floor ay nakapako sa akin. Naka-unbutton ang isa-dalawang butones sa taas at baba ng white shirt nitong suot; revealing a part of her cleavage at ang magandang pusod niya whenever she twisted to the hot central american music. I was temporarily paralyzed with the view but she just smiled as she led my hand to hold on to her gyrating hips.
Muntik na akong mapamura ng maramdaman ang mala-sawang pag-indayog ng hawak-hawak na kalambutan ng bewang niya…skin to skin. Lalo niyang pinag-ibayo ang pagsayaw habang walang tigil sa pag-gala ang maliliit at malalambot nitong kamay all over me. Feeling ko ng panahong yun ay parang tubong pinaglalaruan ng isang pole dancer. Iniikot-ikutan habang walang tigil ang mga kamay nito sa pagsuyod ng naninigas kong kalamnan…pero ni minsan ay hindi nito sinagi ang katigasang hindi ko na kayang ipagkaila at bumubukol na sa harap ng pantalon. Pinitik ko ang sariling diwa para magising mula sa mala-panaginip ng sitwasyon. Trying to convince myself na magaling lang talaga sumayaw si Chloe…nothing more (to which the devil in me replied; ‘gago ka ba?!’).
‘Nothing more!’ Ang muntik ko nang isigaw sa inis dahil may katagalan na rin since last akong nakaisa. Mainit ang dancefloor pero mas mainit ang katawan kong kanina pa pinapadaplis-daplisan ng napakagandang dilag. Nakakahilo ang libog na kumakalat mula sa pantalon at ngayo’y umaakyat sa utak…pinilit ko itong labanan dahil titig pa lang yata ng mestisa ay pwede na akong labasan (huwag naman sana…sana…sana…echoed the wishful thinker in me was working overtime, putek!).
‘You know…**???+++’ ang tanging narinig ko nang biglang magsalita ang nakangiting tease over the loud music.
‘What?! I can’t hear you!!’ ang sigaw ko pabalik. Pero ganun pa rin. Imposibleng marinig ang boses niya, even with me trying hard to apply selective hearing. I tried to pull her close but she just smiled as she resisted to get any closer than where we were already. She was almost laughing (I imagine) at my confused face.
‘I!..Can’t!..hear!..You!’ ang sigaw ko dahil lalo yatang lumalakas ang paglagabog ng tugtog sa dance floor. Nakikita kong bumubuka ang bibig niya pero para siyang pipi. Mas malakas ang sigawang pagkanta ng mga tao, singing along sa popular tune na pinapatugtog ng DJ.
She was exasperated.
She was rolling her eyes, forcing a smile dahil imposible talaga ang gusto niyang mangyari. Then she raised her right pointing finger, as if telling me to get ready and hear out what she’s about to say. I was obedient and watched her take a deep breath, preparing (I think) to shout her loudest para maiparinig ang utak niya.
‘I WANT TO FUCK LIKE A MAAANN!!!’
…
…
Dinig na dinig ko na siya this time.