Hellooo boys! 
My name is Cristal, and these are my friends Alexa, Raine, and Georgia. We, for lack of a better term, are Uptown Girls. I’m sure you’ve seen us around…..shopping at Greenbelt 5, grabbing an organic tea and salad at Serendra, soaking up rays and attention in Bora, and yet, you hate everything about us…..why? Because we’re the kind of girls you’ve always dreamt of having but never could…..or so you thought haha! ;p It’s really not our fault that God chose to grace us with everything men could desire. All of us were born rich, sexy and beautiful, the only thing we’re not is famous (otherwise we never would have done what we did!), and have absolutely no reason at all to be bored with life except…well, we were.
It was a lazy summer afternoon when we had THE CRAZY IDEA, and it started innocently enough. We’d been drinking together in Raine’s garden terrace and chatting about our predictable sex lives, when Georgia asked if any of us had ever been to a gay bar. Apparently, she’d overheard a pack of “fab” people at Embassy talking about it and her curiosity had been piqued. Though we only had a vague idea of what such a place would be like, we immediately made plans to go that very evening. Somehow, the thought that it was probably a very sleazy joint only made us more excited than cautious.
We met up at my condo around 7 and took my Escalade to MaleOrder in Pasay. Nestor, my super hairdresser had suggested the place and said it was “stuffed to the brim with cocks”. I’d scrunched up my face in disgust at his comment, but inside I felt myself secretly warming at the thought. Anyway, it was harder to find than we imagined, we got lost a couple of times but eventually made it. Hmmm, this was a surprise…..girls are charged cover? And our drinks cost more? Guess this is way different from Fort, usually people make way for us on sight. Oh well, minsan lang naman. So we sat right up front, ordered a round of Cosmopolitans, and waited for the show to start. The first 3 performers were slim but well-built. They danced amateurishly but smiled at us a lot. Alexa started screaming whenever they took their towels off, so we all joined in and started throwing peso bills on the dance floor. Soon everyone’s attention was on us, which was kinda embarrassing, but we were having too much fun to care. The fourth performer was a hunk! His name was Lando I think, and with the abs, the arms, as well as the more than average pecker, coupled with our 3 drinks apiece, well let’s just say we got carried away and tried to touch him. Guess what? He started yelling at us to stop doing that! WTF?! Hunky Lando was gay?! We were so embarrassed and got up to leave, but the manager, seeing rich customers about to fly away, immediately apologized for the incident and said we really shouldn’t miss the next performer. We reluctantly agreed, sat down again while ordering yet another round of Cosmos….and that, darlings, is how we met Bruno.
“Ladies and lady-boys, please give it up for BRUUUUNO!” intoned the DJ, as something that sort of resembled a black Gollum sauntered out of the curtains. The crowd cheered as I raised my perfectly plucked eyebrow at the manager, who smiled and pursed his lips and drew my attention back onstage. Intrigued, I told the girls we could go after our drinks, but let’s see first why a stubby, dark person with a paunch merited so much approval. OMG! He danced like the Aetas we saw in Sagada, only I don’t think this guy was praying for rain And then, I suppose this was the moment everyone was waiting for, because when Bruno took off his towel, everyone stood up and cheered. Holy Mother! It was the biggest penis I had ever seen! Exchanging glances with the girls, I knew we were unanimously impressed. At least 12 inches long and a couple around, it looked exactly like the one-eyed snake Mills and Boone often described. It seemed impossible that such a specimen could belong to this little pygmy, but as Bruno drew closer to us, the proof was there in the pudding. As if to make up for the Lando incident, Bruno dropped IT right on our table and invited us to touch it. Georgia was the first, tentatively touching then caressing then wrapping her fingers around it. Raine and Alexa followed suit, and I was last. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I was getting excited watching my best friends, staring intently at Bruno’s penis, never wavering, as if willing it to do their bidding. Alternately stroking and caressing, at least four of our manicured hands were on it at any given time, softly yet increasingly tightening their grips. Until the song ended that is…..and Bruno with his penis whipped around, and disappeared into the waiting curtains.
We stared at each other for a minute, unwilling to let go of the image just yet. I knew, without a doubt that all four of us had just creamed ourselves. On cue, the manager was beside me whispering that if we wanted a private viewing, Bruno was available in VIP 7 for a small fee of 3000 pesos for 3 hours. By unspoken agreement, I nodded and all of us were led to a small dinghy room on the second floor. Bruno was already inside waiting along with his magnificent organ proudly raised up. The little bastard was actually smirking as we piled into the room, as if he never expected any less attention. We sat down on both ends of the sofa with Bruno in the center. He bade us come closer (he actually crooked his finger, AS IN!), and we stupid bitches, obediently did. Then, like a high priest addressing the temple virgins, he cackled “ Di ninyo matiis si Bruno noh? Siguro nagustuhan ng mga kamay ninyo ang nahawakan nila kanina. Ok lang yun, di ko naman kayo masisisi eh, hahahahaha”. He leaned back on the sofa, splayed his legs and waited for us to make our move. Having been the last to touch previously, this time I eagerly reached out to stroke it first, while the girls followed suit. We had been stroking and caressing it for a minute or so when Georgia, sweet shy Georgia leaned over and kissed (!) the head! Suffice to say, the rest of us were shocked (I mean c’mon, it looked clean, but could you really be sure?) but no one more so Athan Bruno himself. He recovered pretty quickly though and started cackling again “Hahahaha, palaban itong si hija, bery gud! Sige mga hija, dahil halatang buena pamilya naman kayo, papayag si Bruno na halikan ninyong lahat and ari niya!”
I remember thinking “Goddamn this cocky bastard!” Yet, as my mind was stuck more on the “cocky” than on the “bastard”, I found myself leaning forward to kiss it as well along with Raine and Lex. In for a penny, in for a pound, my British grandfather always said. Whew! The smell was awful! Our sensitive noses weren’t used to these foul odors, but just a few seconds was all we needed to get used to it, and strangely it had an arousing effect afterwards. Slowly, one by one, we extended our tongues to lick Bruno’s penis up and down. Alexa, aggressive as always, even cradled his balls in her hand and sucked them one at a time. Soon, the whole thing was covered in our saliva and glistening in the dim light. Bruno was moaning and cackling that laugh of his over and over, “Yan-yan-yan-yan-yaaaahhhhhhn!!! Aaaaaaahhhhhhh!!! Puta kayo mga mayamang dalaga! Malinis nga sa labas, madumi din ang kalooban sa libog! Hahahahaha! Sheeeeet!!! Lalabasan na si Bruno! Ahshet! Ahshet! AhSHEEETTT!!!” BOOM! The thing opened up and disgorged what seemed like gallons of semen onto our hair, hands and faces, everywhere! Only then did I notice that a small tray with 5 wet towels was discreetly placed on the table. We used these to wipe Bruno’s spunk off us (and my new LV), then sat back down on the sofa. None of us said anything, but looked at Bruno who looked like a frog sitting on his haunches with a satisfied grin on his face. The rest happened quickly. Our bill was presented and paid by me in cash (No, I’m not using a credit card in this place!), after which we collected ourselves and left without even a backward glance at anyone, including the frog.
Whatever thoughts were running thru our minds as we drove back to Makati were ours alone. What the hell just happened? How did we let this night go so wrong? Or did it actually go right? Could we still face ourselves in the morning, and would we like what we see? What if someone found out? Would we one day wake up infamous due to a “leaked” scandal video? Confused, we arrived at Rockwell, made beso to each other and the 3 left in separate cars. I watched them leave and wondered what effect this night would have on each of us. Anyhow, those stories will be written and told in their own time on this forum for everyone to enjoy. As for me, before I took my nightly warm bath, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw a small drop of semen on my breast. I swiped it with a finger, brought it to my waiting lips…and swallowed.