The first time we met was like a scene straight from a B post-war movie, where the war-worn soldier comes home to his beloved after a turbulent tour of duty. Except that he was no soldier and I wasn’t his rightful beloved. We were just two of the millions of chatters who met online and thru many hours of net connecting have built an incredible new creature called a complicated virtual relationship.
I had told him long ago that I am a brave chatter because I can hide behind a computer screen but in real life I am really, oh, so very shy. He admonished me to not even worry as he would hug and kiss me immediately when we meet so as to chase my qualms away.
In my mind I thought, ‘Duh, paano kaya yon?’ Ang daming mga scenario na naglalaro sa isipan ko sa una naming pagtatagpo, ngunit di ko alam kung alin doon ang makatotohanan o posible man lang. Bahala na si Batman, ika nga. All I was sure of was that I wanted to meet him, kahit pa ang daming babala ng mga well-meaning friends ko patungkol sa pakikipagkita sa isang lalaking katulad nya. Pero kapag ang puso ay tumibok, lilipad na sa kawalan ang matinong kaisipan. Ang sabi nga eh, ‘mapipigil pa ang baha, nungka ang biga.’
And so it came to pass, the day and time for our first meet up. And as befitting a nervous wreck on her first date, I was at the designated place minutes before the agreed time. OC si guy patungkol sa oras, pag sinabing 1900 hours, ay talagang dapat 1900 hours yun. Kaso lang noong papalapit na ako sa bukana ng restorant na aming pagtatagpuan, napansin ko na may nakalimutan akong napaka importanteng bagay: ang aking celfone!
Kaya napilitan akong tumalikod at balikan ang aking blasted celfone, making me late by a few clicks. Gusto kong tumakbo pero pinilit ko ang aking sarili na mag slow down, could not afford a twisted ankle in my high heels at this most important moment!
Pagbalik ko, nakita ko sya kaagad. Standing tall above the rest, dashing, debonair and drop dead gorgeous in his white Nike shirt and beige cargo shorts. True to form, he was restlessly turning this way and that, quickly scanning the place for someone he has never met before. He put his celfone to his ear and I could hear my own celfone ringing pero di ko na sinagot. Instead I raised my hand and waved at him, he was just about 12 feet away.
When he saw me, he waved his phone in the air and took a step towards me. That was all the prodding I needed to leap, nay, fly the last ten steps to finally, finally touch the man I had longed for all these months.
“Sweety, I missed you!” were his first words as he enveloped me in his arms and I wrapped my arms around the body I had wanted to hug for so long already. It was sooooooo dammnnnn goooooddd!!!
And then he was mumbling things like, “Bakit ang tagal mo? Kanina pa ako nag-antay!” Ngeh, wala pa ako five minutes late. Nag explain naman ako about the left-behind celfone pero mukhang di naman talaga siya interesado sa sagot ko dahil tinigil nya ako mid-sentence with a long hard kiss that melted my knees.
Pasensya na po to Manong Sekyu, sa mga waiters at sa mga ibang customers. Ganun pala talaga yun. Parang nag blur ang paligid tapos parang may smoke machine na nagbubuga ng ulap at bituin na kumikinang-kinang sa paligid. Akala ko sa sine lang may ganun, puede pala sa real life, or feeling ko ganun nga. Pakshet! Kung kalian ako tumanda, saka naman ako nakipaghalikan ng ganun ka torrid in public, hanuver! Baliwness.
Tapos, break ng kiss, usap ng giddy nonsense conversation, tapos kiss uli. Sabi nga, try everything once, and if it feels good, do it again. Food? Kakain ba? Eating food was the last thing on my mind at that time.
Pasensya na uli sa Yellow Cab, wala silang benta sa amin noon. May libre lang silang entertainment kasi para kaming nagsasayaw. Ni hindi na nga kami nakaupo, naghihilahan lang. I was trying to drag him to a darker corner para doon ituloy ang laplapan, “Haha… wag naman dito! Para tayong mga ewan!” But he was pulling me to another direction, “Hayaan mo sila!” And so we hugged and kissed again, wapakels ang mga hayok.
The rest of the night went by in a blur… of limbs, contours, glistening surfaces, drops of perspiration and labored respirations. Conversation consisted mostly of repetitive vowels interspersed with a few cuss words and some pleadings like “teka, teka!” “wait!” or “wag dyan!”.
I wanted to remember every minute of that first time, but I can’t. Half the time my eyes were closed or rolled way up into my skull. Ganun pala ang sinasabi nilang nawalan ng ulirat dahil sa sarap. Nung humupa na ang unos, and we lay spent and exhausted, I traced the contours of his face as I had longed to do so for 5 months already. His hair, his forehead, his eyelids, his cheekbones, his ears, his red lips, his perfect teeth, his hot and hard tongue, his stubbled chin, his neck, his shoulders, his chest and beyond…
Gusto ko I memorize o i-imprint sa isipan ko ang lahat ng iyon. Dahil hindi ko alam kung magkakaroon ba uli ng hiram na sandali.