There I go again…
I always seem to bring the worst in pathetic people like myself. Is it a curse? Oh well… Like I always say; “Pathetic people always destroy themselves”. Sadly, I have to destroy myself as well…
Nah… It’s not about the bigot guy. I have thought about this, long before caveman and his alter ego queerkie ever thought they could humiliate me into submission. It’s something personal. And I’d rather do this today than later, before another guy who is more pathetic than me yell to my face this question; “Survivor, do you want to sound like me a year from now?!!”.
Well, I’m writing this post to say my farewell to everyone. And to express my appreciation to the people who became part of my exciting journey here on this site. You…
Yeah, I know. Writing a farewell letter is a silly thing a guy can do. I mean, who the hell do I think I am? Some famous guy with loyal followers, who would bow to me and say “Survivor, please don’t go!”? That is idiotic.
You see, becoming a member of this vibrant social site and contributing my thoughts to you means a lot to me. So much more than everyone’s thoughts on me because, there used to be a time when I can’t even organize a single paragraph of my thoughts on a piece of paper. Let alone an entire page of it. That’s one disadvantage of having a repressed mind. I was a very sensitive kid, raised in a very insensitive environment where a mere innocent look or words to my parents and older brother spells trouble for me. And expressing my self became my lifelong struggle.
And it was such a magic for me when I finally read your comments on my posts, and boy, such nice comments you guys had for me. And I always asks myself, “Did I wrote those stories?”. Nah… It won’t qualify for anything other than a nice piece of your comment. For sure it had lots of typo and grammatical errors on it. But it was such a great leap for me considering my obscure background and my limited education. I do have a way of expressing myself. It was fun.
I’d like to think that I made a significant impact on your lives on my brief stay here. It was actually you guys, who taught me how to swim when my emotions seem to drown in the sea of loneliness and melancholy. And I can’t think of a better way to thank everyone than this. And I hope you guys will forgive me when I pay my homage to the chosen few who went out of their way to offer their hands of friendship to me.
It was none other than lopezboy who definitely caught my attention on this site. Never mind the few minor imperfections, I have lots of them in my post. But his stories have thoughts I don’t often see on other more loin-swelling “Boners” here. And back then, I sensed, this guy have a more eloquent but rather repressed thoughts than his boner stories suggest.
And I remember his email exclaiming to me how he was so moved by my letter, and I said to myself; Wow!!! This guy is so mushy… Just kidding parekoy. Rhyme, I never considered you an ally. I consider you a friend.
Sizzling_momma… The loving mother, a wanting lover, and a dear friend rolled into one. I remember her first comment on my story. So short, and so full of emotions and sympathy for my bleeding heart. I admit I was one of those shocked members who read her earlier very candid post. It was just a curiosity that I ask for her ID, and the rest is our history. I guess I can never understand a person, much less a woman until I take a peek into her soul. And then I begin to understand, she’s no different from me. Just like me, she too has her own demons to fight, and to somehow conquer. Struggles she needs to overcome to find her self, and to find her place under the sun. With a heart, so bruised and so wounded, but a loving heart nonetheless. Beh, you will always have a special place in me.
And Amber… How can I forget the bittersweet girl who decided with a stubborn heart, that I would be her friend for better or for worse? Always there to defend me and to stand beside me when everyone seem to forget for a moment, I too have a good heart. Nature did her injustice by not making her a man. She would have been a fine man with her firm resolve and devotion to the people she cares. But then, perhaps nature may have done her friends and loved ones justice by making her a fine woman and a fine person. And like every fine woman, she doesn’t deserve her personal failures. Sometimes, I think, she doesn’t deserve me as a friend as well.
And what about Anne? The fifty something chinky-eyed Sophia Loren beauty. A perfect reflection of the beauty and wisdom of her ancient culture. I once asked her if she would be willing to have a date with me on a fishball budget, and she said; “Bong, kumakain ako ng fishball ok…” What a woman… It’s just unfortunate that a guy like me will always find it a crime to fete a royalty like her with just a stickful of fishballs.
Honey, I will never forget the wisdom you always impart on me whenever my stupid self gets the better of me.
And I would be damned for eternity should I forget my angelie… Nah. She’s not my girl. I just love to address her that. Thank goodness she never gets pissed when I seem to stake a claim on her beauty. A beauty I can only conquer in my dreams. If you’ve seen my angelie, you would literally bow down and on your knees, begging her to accept you as her slave for the rest of your wretched lives.
Angelie… A woman, gifted with a heightened senses who could read my thoughts like an open book. A woman who keeps me awake at night and loving every minute of my zombie existence afterwards. When I wallow in self pity over a girl that should have been mine, she was there to humor me with her kikay take on life, and to dazzle me with her articulate frankness. Sometimes, I think immortality and all its wisdom runs through her veins. God I want her…
Yeah I know… These are all the proof you guys needed to haul me to a police station, and book me for corruption of majors. Hehehe. Me, a chickboy? Whoever started that rumor never really knew me at all. And frankly, it amuses me so much because I never really see myself as such. You see, I’m not a charmer, I’m a joker. But then, there may be some truth to the saying that; To pry open a woman’s heart, don’t use a can opener. Use humor…
I wish I could mention all of you guys and babes which made a lasting impression on me. Yeah, I guess I could accommodate a few more.
There’s Boobsy who wowed me with her eloquent thoughts and her loin-swelling fantasies. And her signature yellow shades who spawned a number of delicious copycat members. Confused again fairybelle? I’m talking about Boobsy’s avatar ok. Hehehe. By the way fairybelle, you’re one of those writers I have so much regards. Mpilyo isn’t that bad with words too, though I’m a bit late on discovering it. And Nothingness. Wow… She surely has a future… As my girl. Hahaha!
And hunnybun. Ohhh hunnybun… What a shame… It should have been me.
I will never forget you guys.
Nah… I will still be around, at least until I finish my series. And I remember making a promise to cryingboy err, lopezboy, that I would post a couple of witty articles before the year ends. I hope you guys can still forgive a couple of non-boner stories from a no-boner guy. Just a couple of stories to remind us of our humanities.
To everyone, maraming salamat…