“this is stupid.”
“youre damn right it is! you know this was planned a month ago. you said ok, and now youre asking me not to go? you got stupid right.”
“well the trip wasnt for singapore back then! dont tell me it was PLANNED to change too.”
“you know what, I dont even know why I bother. im leaving.”
“dont be stupid. lets talk about this.”
“oh so know youre saying im stupid.”
“i didnt say that.”
“whatever. im leaving. ill be back after 3 days.”
“oh so its 3days now? I thought you said it was only for two?”
“lets dont argue about this please. I dont want to leave like this.”
so she turned and grabbed her suitcase and headed for her car.
“i call you when I get there.”
I let out a sigh and went back inside the house.
it wasnt always like this, you know. we started arguing about everything right about..heck I cant even remember when we started. we were really happy, would you believe? the typical couple, never growing tired of each other’s company, not anything or anyone able to keep us apart. we did everything together, and even when away from each other had that tendency to swerve to each other’s course. we were like polar magnets, me and her, not able to exist without the other. a perfect fit, some would call us.
so how did we end up like that, with the scene before? hmm, let’s see. well like most couples, we started out as strangers. thats phase 1. we met at a certain tennis court in one of the famous universities here in the metro. I was playing with a friend that time, and wax so engroessed with keepingy rhythm that I lost all sense of balance when the ball went a bit higher than my reach. so I tried to hit it back his court, and in doing so stepped on my shoelace and tripped.
it was bad enough tripping on my own damn shoelaces, but it was even worse when I tried to regain balance and hit this girl on the other court who was about to smash their ball back to her opponent. well she did hit it. hard. I woke up after I think a few minutes to have a vision of dreamy proportions. an angel, peering at my face, who kept saying im sorry im sorry. I didnt understand what she was on about I sat up and felt a splitting ache right at the back of my ears. apparently she hit me with the racket. well, being the benevolent and all forgiving son of an ex-soldier turned financier that I was, I gave her a grin, and said
“its ok, if I get to see your face when I come to.”
she blushed, and it was all downhill from then on. we talked, and found that we enjoyed that, but they were about to leave, so we exchanged numbers and said our farewells for that day, with a smile.
so, needless to say, we called each other, met a coupled of times for a game, and to grab something to bite. with everything turning out we, we entered phase 2: the courtship. we started seeing other more often, exchanging sweet nothings through texts, calls and even through a popular social networking site. admit it guys, everything’s electronic nowadays, even courtship. these all lead on to one question, one that us men ask our luscious suitees (im not even sure if there is such a word, but for lack of a better one to use, it’ll do): would you be my girlfriend? well in this situation, she said yes, so we step into phase 3, and we all love this, the honeymoon. at this point we openly express our undying love (butterflies n my stomach) and affection for each other. this is the best part of a relationship. we get to do the things couples do, be sweet even in public, even the nasty things (raawwwrr). we think of nothing else but each other. we become so engrossed with each other that nothing else pemetrates that sphere of you and her, and let all things slide with ease. we dont care! all long as we have the other, we’re good. understandable. that’s why its the honeymoon.
now for some couples this peripd lasts for weeks, months, even years. we take advantage of it, really, because after a gazillion pictures and moments and exchanges, we enter the fourth phase, the comfort zone. the name says it all, I think. here’s the deal with it. its like you went to a party, had so much fun in it, and went home, dry, tired and sated. that’s how this phase works. we get so engrossed with each other after a period of passion, of necking, petting and some other things, we reach a point that we are now, in a sense, used to it. this is the time where we really get to be ourselves with our partners. and no, dont argue that this happens in the honeymoon phase. it doesnt. at the earlier phases we show off, men and women alike, and put our best foot forward. this is where we really get comfortable, hence the name. now some couples turn this into an advantage, making sudden changes in their routine, spicing up the relationship, taking it up a notch, in the process rescuing themselves from phase 5. and trust me, this part is ugly.
why? because after all the fire and, if wd fail at it, comfort, we turn to tolerance. an ugly word. it gives us that disregard of the other, this to the point that we barely even care what the other says. here’s how it might look like for some.
the girl comes home, talking about work. me, i just got home from, and very tired as well, watching a game.
“gosh, very infuriating, this. six deals in eight hours! I mean, one buy out is load enougj, you had add five more! so, what do you want for dinner?”
“you think about it.”
“well, I want to know what you want, so what will it be?”
“like I said, you think about it.”
“really, here I am asking you to decide on things. it’s not like youre a five year old to be told what to do.”
now normally, i’ll let that pass, but since im having a bad day as well, i go ahead and look for a talk down.
that’s how ugly it is. we keep all those pent up frustrations, either about the realtionship itself or other things, until it reaches its boiling point and implodes. then they come out. everything from this point on goes downhill, straight to a painful phase, phase 6. the break up.
it doesnt matter if you love reach other anymore. one or the other or both of you will think “this is not working anymore”, drop the big line, ” I think its better, for the both of us, to end this”. it doesnt matter what form it takes. i need time to think about things, I need space, these lines are one and the same. nothing survives time apart, no matter how hard you argue about it. things change after that. breakups creates a drastic change in how you now live. getting used to each other does that, and at some point in this phase you will seriously consider getting back together. we think of nothing but how it was with him or her and try to recreate that. but at this period of silence towards each other we go to the last phase, phase 7. we move on.
we go on about our lives, apart from each other, and start to walk our own paths. in time we find someone new, in some cases cling to that former romance, and we return to what we were at the beginning: strangers. we live on, and what remains of that past is just a room of memoroes that you visit from time to time thinkong to yourself, this person was once the most important person in your life. noe they’re just murals, so to say, hung on a wall to be looked at every now and then.
tragic isnt it? but that’s how things are. we cant change them, although we can even attempt to. these things are inevitable. so what’s left for us to do? what am I trying to say here, you ask? dig deep. find that spark within you, and that spark your partner. keep it burning, all throughout your time together, and when all’s said and done, do not regret. these people are meant to touch our lives, so that in the next summer of your lives, may it be together or not, you can be thankful for the blesings and lessons you gleamed from it. and dont be sad, please. all’s we that ends well, as they say.
how about me? well, right now im inside our house, packing some clothes into a suitcase and then straight to the airport to catch my flight for singapore to ask her hand for marriage. really now, you think id let her go?
well, gotta go! wouldnt want to be late!