“Everything ends here. We end here…”
Those were the last words she had spoken to me before she left me standing under the lamp post. She walked away from me and vanished into the night. She didn’t even look back. She kept walking away until I saw no sign of her. She’s gone.
*****
I never did figure out what I saw in her. When I first met her sa isang corporate event, tinarayan nya ako. That got me hooked on her. I pursued her until I have finally broken down every fortress she built around herself and revealed the sweet, caring, and loving girl inside. Doon ko napatunayan na fortune favors the brave. I had her.
The 5 months I spent with her were the best 5 months of my life. I was happy and so was she. No one and nothing could rain on our parade.Until the inevitable came. She saw the wedding invitations that fell from my organizer when she picked me up from work. There in gold, bold letters imprinted on a coral envelope where the words “Ramirez-Monsanto Nuptials.” Para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig na makita kong hawak hawak nya yun.
She opened the envelope and saw it. The proof of my lies. “Malapit na pala ang kasal mo.” I didn’t know where she took the strength to say those words. Her face was ashen whiten, her eyes threatening to pour down a storm of tears. Pero she maintained her steely resolve not to break down in front on me. Then, she said “Magusap tayo.”
We sat on the chairs in front of my desk. I couldn’t bring myself to touch her as I told her that I am marrying my girlfriend of 4 years. I told her that I never did expect to fall in love with her, nor she with me. Things just happened and that if I could change things I would. I told her how I wished that I could still change things. I wanted to be hers as much as I wanted her to be mine.
“Let’s just enjoy the time we have left. We’re living on borrowed time.” That’s what she said after hearing my explanation. We made love that night, and the night after that, and the nights after that… We did everything that we wanted to do together during the last month of my freedom. We both took two weeks’ worth of leave from work to visit every place in the Philippines that we talked about. Mula Appari hanggang Jolo, sabi nga sa Eat Bulaga.
We acted as if there is no wedding hanging over our heads. She never did ask about my girlfriend nor did she allow me to talk about what will happen after I’m wed. She would always shush me, put her finger on my lips and say “Wag kang maingay.”
*****
A week after my wedding we met at what we called our lover’s nest. Magpapalaam ako kasi had to go to my girlfriend’s province where the wedding would take place. It broke my heart to have to say goodbye but it had to be done.
“I understand.” Ito lang ang mga katagang namutawi sa bibig nya. I kissed her full on the lips after that. Unhurried. I let the tip of my tongue trace her lips, trying to brand her mine. I used my hands to caress every part of her. Down from her hair, her ears, her neck, her shoulders, her arms, her waist and any part of her that I could touch while we were standing up.
I couldn’t get enough of her. I had to see all of her so I slowly unbuttoned the black dress that she was wearing. I kissed every inch of the skin that I exposed. When I finally disposed of her dress, I stepped back and just looked at her scantily clad body for a few minutes. I wanted to prolong the moment, to remember each curve and each hollow of her body. And she allowed me to. She had never done that before.
When I had my fill, I sat her down gently on the bed and resumed kissing her. I couldn’t get enough of her lips but I could sense that her breasts needed my attention as I could feel her hard, erect nipples poking through my shirt. Willingly, I let my tongue slide down from her lips, to her neck, and finally through her breasts. I didn’t toy with her anymore and just took the nipple in and sucked it the way she preferred it. “Baby……” was all she was able to say.
I alternated between sucking her breasts and kissing her lips for a while before I let my left hand trail down her tummy, then lower to her waiting womanhood. I used my index finger to trace her slit and I could feel that she was ready for me. I inserted my finger in and heard her gasp. “Aaahhhhhhh…” I moved my fingers in and out of her lovehole slowly, savouring her wetness and her warmth. While doing this, I turned on the lamp from the bedside table so I can watch her. I was amazed by her expressions. But I was even more amazed by the fact that she allowed me to watch her. Another first.
“I’m cumming baby….” She whispered. That was my cue. I stopped fingerfucking her and removed my clothes while she lay in the bed. She looked at me, surprised that I stopped. Usually, I’d finger her until she came but this time was different. I’m feeling a sense of urgency I’ve never felt before. So when I was completely naked, I slowly parted her legs and rubbed my dick in her slit.
“Sarap nyan….” was all she said. When I was ready to enter her, I asked her to look at me. As she did, I entered her. I heard her moan softly, her lips forming an O. I pumped in and out of her in slow motion as if in a dream. Whenever she closed her eyes, I’d tell her to open it and look at me. I wanted her to acknowledge me.
We stayed that way for long. Fucking each other slowly. Sometimes I’d stop and she would start thrusting her hips against me, or grind it. When she stops, I’d resume fucking her slowly. I’d rub her clit in circular motions then stop if I sense that she is cumming. She’d look at me with those dazed eyes of her and I would just smile. She seemed to understand that I wanted to prolong that night.
When I sensed my own climax coming, I grasped her hips on both sides and started pumping faster. “Look at me baby.” I commanded her. She heeded, her eyes looking up at me, challenging me to own her. And I did. With each thrust, I claimed her body. When she climaxed, I whooped “Yes, baby come for me. Come for me…”
She didn’t make a sound. Instead, she looked at me with those eyes that proved to be my undoing. I felt my balls tightening and knew that she sensed that too. She took my hands into hers and met me thrust for thrust until I came. Then, I saw triumph in her eyes.
We kissed and cuddled for an hour before she said she needed to go. I sensed something wrong but didn’t have the guts to ask what it is. I watched her put on her clothes as I did mine. Something in her demeanour told me she was determined to do something. I just assumed it was about my leaving.
She was unusually quiet as I drove her home. With my wedding coming, I knew she must be suffering inside so I let her be. I stopped at the end of their block, got out, and opened her door for her. I started to say something, to tell her that I’d see her when I get back from the honeymoon when she said…
“Everything ends here. We end here…” She turned her back to me and walked. I was too dumbfounded to do anything. My mind was reeling with questions. I wanted to call her name and run to her but something held me back. In the end, I watched her walked away from me. When she didn’t even look back, I knew that she meant it.