Palamig muna po kayo. .Sana makatulong itong napulot ko na ishashare ko. ..Sa mga nagkakainitan jan. .Hehe.
Mom: baby, you’re good in
math. Now I’m going to ask
you a question.
Baby: sure mom
Mom: if your daddy gives you
3 apples and I give you 4
apples, what’s your answer?
Baby: thank you po!!!
BF: may malaki ako problema.
GF: wag mo sabihin problema
mo lang problema natin dahil
nagmamahalan tayo. ngayon
ano problema natin?
BF: nabuntis natin si inday at
tayo ang ama
“There what it takes to be.
Then we shall so be it because
it is. To do or not to is in the
what, now or what else.
Without which there never to
you!” – words of wisdom from
Senator Lito Lapid.
Pare1: pare parang malalim
ang iniisip mo!
Pare2: nanaginip ako kagabi
kasama ko 50 contestants ng
Ms. Universe
Pare1: swerte mo! ano
problema mo?
Pare2: pare ako nanalo!
Killer: father mangungumpisal
po ako
Father: ano kasalanan mo?
Killer: pumatay po ako ng 20
tao
Father: bakit?
Killer: kasi po naniniwala sila
sa Diyos, kayo po naniniwala
ba?
Father: dati…pero ngayon trip
trip na lang
Patient: doc takot po ako sa
bunot
Dentist: eto gamot
pampatapang ng loob
Patient: (ininom ang gamot)
Dentist: ano matapang ka na
ba?
Patient: oo doc! puta pag may
gumalaw ng ngipin ko basag
ang bungo!
Passenger taps taxi driver’s
shoulder…
WAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
screamed the driver…
Passenger: bakit ka sumigaw?
Driver: sorry bossing bago
lang kasi ako sa taxi. 25 years
po kasi ako driver ng
funenaria
1 panget na babe, hinoholdap
Holdaper: holdap ito! akin na
gamit mo!
Babae: RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!
Holdaper: anong rape? holdap
nga to eh!
Babae: wala lang!
nagsusuggest lang…
Priest: ang mga bakla’y
walang lugar sa kaharian ng
langit
Mga bakla: carry lang po
father…dun na lang kami sa
rainbow mag slide-slide!!!
Girl: doc, pacheck-up po
Doc: sige hubad ka ng panty
at bra tapos higa ka
Girl: hindi po ako, itong lola
ko po
Doc: sige lola, hinga na lang
po ng malalim
A first-grade teacher was
having trouble with one of her
students the
teacher asked,”Boy. what is
your problem?”
Boy. answered, “I’m too smart
for the first grade.My sister is
in the
third-grade and I’m smarter
than she is! I think I should be
in the
third-grade too!”
The Teacher had enough. She
took Boy. to the principal’s
office. While
the boy waited in the outer
office, the teacher explained
to the
principal what the situation
was. The principal told the
teacher he
would give the boy a test and
if he failed to answer any of
his
questions he was to go back to
the first-grade and behave.She
agreed.
Boy. was brought in and the
conditions were explained to
him and he
agreed to take the test.
Principal: “What is 3 x 3?”
Boy.: “9″.
Principal: “What is 6 x 6?”
Boy.: “36″.
And so it went with every
question the principal thought
a third-grade
should know. The principal
looks at the teacher and tells
her, “I think
Boy can go to the third-
grade.” the teacher says to
the principal, “I
have some of my own
questions.
Can I ask him ?” The principal
and Boy. both agree.
the teacher asks, “What does
a cow have four of that I have
only two
of?
Boy., after a moment “Legs.”
Teacher : “What is in your
pants that you have but I do
not have?”
Boy.: “Pockets.”
Teacher : What starts with a C
and ends with a T, is hairy,
oval,
delicious and contains thin
whitish liquid?
Boy.: Coconut
Teacher: What goes in hard
and pink then comes out soft
And sticky? The
principal’s eyes open really
wide and before he could stop
the answer,
Boy. was taking charge.
Boy.: Bubblegum
Teacher: What does a man do
standing up, a woman does
sitting down and a
dog does on three legs? The
principal’s eyes open really
wide and before
he could stop the answer…
Boy.: Shake hands
Teacher: Now I will ask some
“Who am I” sort of questions,
okay?
Boy.: Yep.
Teacher: You stick your poles
inside me. You tie me down to
get me up. I
get wet before you do.
Boy.: Tent
Teacher: A finger goes in me.
You fiddle with me when
you’re bored. The
best man always has me
first.The Principal was looking
restless, a bit
tense.
Boy.: Wedding Ring
Teacher: I come in many sizes.
When I’m not well, I drip.
When you blow
me, you feel good.
Boy.: Nose
Teacher: I have a stiff shaft.
My tip penetrates. I come with
a quiver.
Boy.: Arrow
Teacher: What word starts
with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that
means lot of
heat and excitement?
Boy.: Firetruck
Teacher: What word starts
with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ & if
you dont get
it u have to use ur hand.
Boy.: Fork
Teacher: What is it that all
men have one of it’s longer on
some men
than on others, the pope
doesn’t use his and a man
gives it to his wife
after they’re married?
Boy.: SURNAME
Teacher: What part of the
man has no bone but has
muscles, has lots of
veins, like pumping, & is
responsible for making love ?
Boy.: HEART.
The principal breathed a sigh
of relief and said to the
teacher,
“Send this Boy to College, I
got the last ten questions
wrong myself!”