Guess who’s back with a BANG? A bang. Yep a bang. Not a bang, bang… but a deep, romantic, loving bang… that’s how I like it. Never had the chance to just go fuck someone and leave myself without a memory of a name, a place, a number… It’s always, always with someone I know, I love and I will try to keep.
I guess for everyone who already has heard of me, My name is Katy and I live in Boston… I used to have a love for this guy I call *Jeremy… but married to a guy named *Rob … it’s a mix of all things beautiful, ugly, loving, hateful … a promise, a doubt … mad love, mad affair that ended anyway. 2010 was the year and it’s now 2013, I guess all wounds do heal through time… scarred but healed…. I dont want to dwell in that place anymore, I want to live my life as if he never happened… I tried to remove all my stories here about *Jeremy, all the love, all the pain, all the sex… everything… but I couldn’t. Whenever I go back and read them, I cannot imagine how it was possible for me to love someone that much… it wasn’t the perfect setting, but it was LOVE.
Moving forward, 2013.
I tried to live my life over again with Rob, he forgave me for the things I did, for the times that I had “lack” better judgement, that I had been “incapable” to manage my own actions …. HE is like that, my ROB… the man I married when I was but 21, he is decisive, aggressive, a leader… if I hadn’t slept in his arms and felt for a heartbeat, I would guess he is a ROBOT… Rob – Robot… I used to joke that a lot to myself… but now, I owe him and paying it big by trying to be a good wife … I try … I tried …
I walked a good path for the years I spent without Jeremy, from time to time I would think about how he is, where he could be, what he might be doing … all those things I shouldn’t care about anymore… but I did… YET one day, it all stopped… like I dont know him anymore, that all those things didn’t happen, didn’t matter … I died that day I left Jeremy…and I guess I remained dead…
I was careful with my dealings with men, I was careful not to have my heart hanging out my sleeves like it’s ready for taking and people can just pry into that, judge me, accuse me, adulterer? unfaithful? BAD, BAD things that I only imagine to be suited for women who wore cheap perfumes, short, skimpy skirts and smokes like a tobacco factory. I’m not any of that … I live simply, my hair always kept combed to the sides with a clip, my dress always just above my knee and smell like a bunch of hydrated roses … always proper, always saying the right things, always at the right time, always and always “good”.
UNTIL …
12 o’ clock and I am getting a burger … and maybe fries. I was sooo hungry I swear I could eat everything on the menu, I didn’t care if my skinny jeans would burst out of seams when I eat a whole lot of burger, I am just super hungry and I want to eat.
“Miss?”
I turned.
“You dropped this…”
I looked at his hand where my pencil sits like a miniature… what big hands…
“oh thanks” I carefully took it out of his hand and not bothered to look at him, I guess he smiled… I really dont care.
Time to get my burger and sat on a corner, there wasn’t enough tables and everyone is just huddled together like one big party of a burger frenzy.
“can I take this chair?”
As I was about to bite an enormous bite…. I looked up. “sure”
“ketchup?” he asked , my mouth hanging open, probably salivating for that bite…
“no, thank you…”
“you must be new here…”
I felt my stomach grumbling…
“I’m *Reed”
I looked at his salesman-like smile and his extended hand… (big hand) across the table… who is this man and why is he talking to me? 
I took a bite of my burger anyway and ignored his hand, my legs crossed under the table was swinging like I want to forget this is happening… I dont know him and I dont need to speak to him.
He pulled his hand to his side and rubbed them on his pants, took his burger and bit it.
Awkward, dead silence for about 10 minutes….
I can do awkward, I’m really good at it…
“you definitely will need ketchup…” he spoke
Me chewing ever so slowly, like there is something wrong with my burger and it is… what he says it is…
“yeah…” I said, my mouth stuffed with dry burger…
he laughed… chuckled… not sure what he did, but he has nice teeth
“you’re new here?”
Lathering ketchup on my burger… If I may just speak to this person… and leave the burger place after, what are the chances that I will see him and speak to him again? … he is harmless at this point.
“yes.”
“from the new building?”
“yes.”
“I’m Reed”
I heard that a while ago.
“katy”
“hello katy” he smiled again.
“burger isn’t that good?”
I smiled, unexpectedly.
“yes.”
He looked at his watch and pursed his lips… “well, I better get going, ‘meeting at 2 o’clock”
(great he is leaving)
I smiled and my brows just moved atop of my forehead in a really snob way, he gathered his things and walked away.
Tall, broad shoulders, big hands… that’s all I could process from my hunger.
I went back to my office at around 2:30 and sat on my desk, scuffling my things, trying to finish a task… and there was a knock at my door…
“yes Emilia?” I asked not looking at her, while signing up papers.
“Mr. Cyrus is here to see you”
“oh sure, let him in please, thank you”
“Mr. Cyrus, Ms. Katy Diaz”
I got up from my scribbling and looked up…
“oh.”
“Wow”
“oh.”
“it’s you”
Awkward.
“sit.”
he sat, amused at everything.
I sat, fucking bewildered
“so … (clearing my throat) it’s you”
“it’s me” He smiled.
haha. I laughed.
“nice to see you … again” Picking up from a …. really awkward moment to make into a brilliant discussion… he’s a client… omg why.
“Mr. Reed Cyrus, right?”
“yep, Reed is fine… since we have acquainted early on…haha”
OMG I am gonna start tearing my hair off.
“so Miss Katy…”
“Katy is fine… ”
WE will never get over this awkwardness, EVER!!
We started discussing about a mall project he is planning to build in the city, where he has hired my office for design… a great big project that I shouldn’t let slip with a burger mishap.
He is a brilliant talker, a guy with a good sense of humor… laughs generously and has cutesy eyes that I try not to look into very often…
“Katy, you think we can build in 2 years?”
” I think we can”
“great… ”
With a little bit more chat, laughs and positive vibes, he was on his way into building his dream mall… and on his way into building something more into my life.
UH.OH.
not again.
(to be continued…)