“what’s your secret?”
“…I tell no secrets Mia”
Drowning in self-pity I was slumped on the rocking chair at the deck of these old wood, white vacation house in Miami, two weeks had gone since my sister Analeigh’s 18th birthday, I dont call her my “evil-bitch-first-class” sister anymore, she has earned that in her own notorious ways, like I’m still waiting for her to attack me since she found out that I was sexing James, the 25-year-old guy she really like, I’m only 15 for godsakes, what was I thinking…
All these scandals in my head weren’t seeing itself through in my favor.
I’m so disappointed in myself …. I rocked the chair with both feet on the seat, my chin touching my knees.
I ached so bad inside from the pain when I found out James had a fiancee, Mona — and she’s the classiest bitch I’ve ever met so far … everyone’s a bitch around me; conniving, deceiving, luring, ALL except Mia…
At both 15, Mia-my cousin and I in Boston 1998 has been growing into puberty in very different ways, she was into soccer, volleyball, tennis, swimming, tell me a sport and she was just into that, she has this one of a kind “fire” in her that when ignited burns amongst the brightest star. She’s a ball of energy and without her I’d be my boring, predictable self.
I wish she was my sister, more than I wished I have Analeigh…Ana for short.
“you tell me about James…”
“NO…” I hugged my legs.
Mia’s eyes were very concerned and was watching my face from being very pale turning into RED more than the Miami sun could ever tan me in 20 minutes….
I cried like all little teenage asses could cry about broken hearts, failed plots, betrayal, dishonesty, pedophile sex, exploitation, all those things that didn’t come to mind while young lust was overpowering everything!
Mia just hugged me from the rocking chair. She instantly knew what was wrong and it was arriving at the next cottage, arm in arm the classy-bitch-fiancee Mona and James, still working for my father was walking in to the next cottage among with the other guests that my father had invited on this trip.
“why are you crying?”
That question… it stopped me. Thank god for Mia, why was I crying?
I wiped my tears and Mia moved away sitting back to the rugged, wooden stairs at the foot of the deck in her denim shorts and yellow bikini top.
“You know… if it’s love, it shouldn’t be…” Her voice was comforting, like she knew, BUT she didn’t know.
“…you know you are too young for James, it wont work.”
I rocked my chair and turned to see Mona from the other cottage looking back… her lips were RED as evil and her sunglasses can’t hide the mischievous stare she has on me.
She knows everything and she laughs about my INNOCENCE.
I swore James all that I had as a girl and Mona is ridiculing it, twisting her mouth and turning away to get James.
fuck that. yeah fuck that.
“come on Katy let’s swim!” Mia popped from sitting, showing her teenage braces as she smiles. “let’s go!”
“you go ahead…” still not in the mood for anything, I went back inside the wooden house, finding my way to one of the bedrooms and free falling to the bed.
Suddenly
The DOOR flung open, my heart skipped…
Ana, in her striped red and white bikini with a smoking joint in her fingers barged into the room.
oh no not now…
She smoked the weed and walked about the room.
“you can’t smoke that in here…”
“hmm…what? you’re gonna tell mom?” she hissed.
She folded her right arm over her chest and smoking the joint on the left, chuckling in between… She picked the perfect time to destroy me, all wars are indeed won by deception, I read that in the ART OF WAR book, she has made me believe that all will eventually fizzle out into nothing, knowing that James have a fiancee and we are in truce with losing that gorgeously pathetic guy, but nooo, her silence over the weeks was to startle me to death when I’m already a bloody, wounded victim on the inside.
“you think I wont tell dad?”
I wanna die.
I wanna die right now.
“you fucked James and I told you you can’t do that!!!”
She went too close on my face I blinked.
My life at 15 is in ruins…she is gonna tell dad, James is gonna lose his job and escape wearing my virginity as his pride, Mona is gonna tell Boston and I… I will be banished from the house and shipped to Timbuktu. wherever that is on the map.
On the other hand…Mona and James must pay.
“what is it that you want from James, Ana?”
I sat up…feeling confident from my words.
I looked at her in the eye, sizing up this bitch that runs in the same bloodline as mine.
Ana sniffed, took a long hiss on the joint and handed it to me.
I took it… put it between my lips and huffed a puff….
then coughed.
Ana smiled.
“just SEX…a fuck…from James” she said in a high-tone almost laughing.
All these plots and delusions came running through my head like doors had been opened through and through. I wasn’t lifting a finger to hurt anyone and here comes Ana… she hates me, she bullies me around and yet… she is going to be someone very useful to avenge me.
“Tonight, you’ll fuck James.”
Her eyes widened…smoking her pot animatedly.
“How?”
I stood up and went to my luggage, searched for my faded blue diary and opened it to the one that’s been previously marked:
DECOY.
Anything intended to lead into a snare, a lure that deceives and misleads into danger, or to the power of an enemy, a bait.
I tapped my finger over to it, Ana looked in…she didn’t get it at first but then later turned to see my eyes were all in rage to get even with James who USED me and my fragility.
I told you, decoy was my favorite word.
===
Her hair was redder, her height was a bit taller, she has two more piercings on the left ear … much has to be done, but it wouldn’t be that hard, ANA is my sister – she looks a lot like me.
She took off her skimpy red/white bikini and put on a sweet, cute swimsuit that I would wear. Complete with Hello Kitty prints.
Barefooted she walked towards me.
“Katy… fuck all this shit you wear!”
“Do you wanna get James or not?”
We both laughed, for the first time we are laughing together yet the circumstances were all wrong.
“I’m doing this for you Katy” Her hands on her waist, feeling like I owe her something.
“Well, you do it good coz I was really good with James”
We laughed again, like evil-TWIN sisters.
That night…
We dyed her hair mahogany-brown, the color of my hair …
when she unraveled her towel from the head, I squeaked.
“whoa…”
“this feels weird katy….” Ana was touching her new hair, my skin had nervous bumps…
“I look like you…”
“yeahhh…you are ME.”
===
Bonfire was set up and the night was filled with tropical flowers, on our necks, the pool, the sand…
Ana tied her hair and I was wearing mine down, she put on make up…actually, from the bonfire light…who would notice the change on her. We partied and the people around us got totally drunk, I saw James staring at my legs that I intentionally worn a short skirt for. Mona was busy dancing with a few other guys and girls, it was a loud party.
I sat across James and parted my legs a bit so he could peek on my bikini.
True enough, he was eyeing me and giving me the look.
I shifted my legs and his eyes followed my movement.
Ana…back in the house was dressing up the part, all was settled on her…the hair, the dress, she was my perfect little DECOY.
Bad boys pay and they will pay up in full.
I walked through the crowd heading to the house, James was following….Mona, will melt in her fuckin’ red dress.
Into the dim bedroom, I lured James and started kissing him…
The kiss actually felt like before and I was starting to sink into the feeling, our tongues went around each other’s mouth and I could feel my thighs getting agitated, oh god… I might just do him.
His hand began rubbing my breasts and taking one in his mouth over my dress and bit it gently.
Ana my evil-bitch-first-class sister was outside the door…
I smiled at James and said I’d be back with a condom in the bathroom.
I went out the dim room and minutes later Ana went in, it was a well planned attack yet so easy to deliver… he was drunk, even if we didnt go through that trouble of dyeing Ana’s hair, James will still fuck her.
In the room Ana would have fucked James all she wanted.
Naked and lusty, she would be on top of him gyrating and showing him all the bitchy moves she knew in bed.
I went out again to be in the party,
by now Ana would’ve mounted James and his huge dick fucking her tiny, 18 year old pussy… she must be really showing off and I know James would’ve known by now that it wasn’t me, but ANA is good…she can keep him.
Mona, realizing that James was not around…began searching.
“hey bitch.” I walked up to her drinking my plastic cup of fruit punch.
She looked at me,
“what?”
I smiled devilishly…
“where’s James?”
I chuckled in my little teenage dress.
“Aren’t you supposed to know?”
Ana by now would’ve enjoyed sucking James’ cock, licking it…deliciously rolling her tongue over to the tip….while her sweet little cunt is on James’ face, they must be eating each other soooo freakin’ hot.
“you little bitch! where is he?”
I sipped on my punch…
“having sex, Mona… JAMES is having sex.” I looked at her from head to toe,
“…and obviously, not with you WOMAN.”
“hmph…!!!!” Mona furiously breathed and wanted to strangle me,
“are you gonna hurt me, bitch?”
She gripped my arm…
Ana and James by now…are rocking into oblivion, he must be really pounding her and Ana would grunt from his thrusts, James fucks really good…His cock would’ve rammed her wet pussy in deep-hard circles… Ana will love it, she will do all he wants. She would put him in her mouth and drink his cum.
“you tell me where he is or I swear to god I’ll…”
“let her go!” Mia’s voice was pitchy.
Mona turned to see Mia,
“well…well… another little bitch ass…”
“you tell me where James is or both of you will get it, do you hear me??”
“okay…in the house, 3rd door on the right…”
Mona’s eyes widened… she knew what I said was true, James was indeed having sex…but with who?
“you say I Aint Woman to Take your Man…how about 18? that’s a woman, Mona…”
I laughed, Mona’s face was ridiculously screwed I wanna take a Polaroid picture!
Mia was standing, unable to understand all this but she was with me.
Mona walked off, mad… furious… bitched out.
“That does it…” I gulped on my fruit punch.
I was laughing dead-serious on the inside…
Dear Diary,
I’m not a kid anymore, this is real. The world is full of bitchiness but in the end no matter what, real friends will stick.
Mia is here for me, Ana my sister — even she doesn’t realize how much this means to me, has helped me through… but of course the bullying never stops, for a while we were good but she is built to be my arch enemy for life (I guess.)
Our hearts are fragile things, we shouldn’t trust it to someone so easily.
Love,
Lil’ Katy
===
The end of Innocence 