I’ve always been sexual no doubt, older boys started noticing me since I was 9, I was pretty tall for my age, with long, dark hair and black eyes, I’m a contrast amongst the many Caucasian girls in my school. I was in perfect manner of dressing, always on time, always calm and never speaks when not spoken to, people always think I’m older. I could pass being 15 at 9 years old and that’s deadly.
But then 15 came and none deadly so far, I’ve grown more and more womanly, my manners weren’t always like the other teenage girls, I was always in dresses, hats, florals, laces and if by chance you’d spot me in heels. They think I’m quite naive for a girl my age, when they go with band boys and rock n’ roll, I was in our yard planting english roses and listening to the old blues music. I’m probably an old soul with a new body, a body that I never grew to love. I always thought I’m too skinny and no shape, but my bra size is formidable which is very popular with the boys but is actually annoying to me.
My father is in a construction business, he travels a lot making meetings in Asia and Europe, sometimes he would take me and Analeigh* (Ana-ley) my older perfect hair-perfect-smile sister and mom along.
In one of our trips, we rode this Cruise Ship Athala bound for the Galapagos Islands. It was pretty exciting, I was 15 and my sister Analeigh was 17, mom and dad had taken friends with them and some business partners. The “old guys”, as Analeigh would refer to with a shrug.
I didn’t care much about who I was with, my mind is always busy with thoughts and I write a diary of the things that I see and feel. I can entertain myself if the world can’t.
“Katy…” Analeigh was in her white jumpsuit and holding up a glass of what looks like wine.
I looked up from my chair, with my hands busy writing the said diary…“you’re not supposed to drink that, Ana...”
“Isn’t this fantastic…” she swerves her hand with the wine and sipped like she’s 40.
I went back to writing, forcing to ignore her.
“Katy… aren’t you tired of being always that quiet?”
“No.” …writing more rapidly.
“You should go upstairs, there are boys… you should meet boys Katy..” she gave a small wave to some guy who gestured her to come up. She hurriedly put down her glass on my table, fixed herself and walked briskly, smiling like a fake-hyena.
“You shouldn’t be drinking this…”
I looked up, the sun has shone too high I shaded my eyes with a hand….
“that’s not mine…” wrinkling my forehead.
The voice is a 25-ish guy who is well shaven and hair smooth to the side. He’s dressed in a light blue shirt and board shorts… he must be a waiter.
He took the drink and I was surprised that he sat beside me… waiters don’t sit and drink wine at work, do they?
I pretended to be busy scribbling my thoughts, but I was actually distracted by his good looks.
“great day isn’t it?” He smiled, his light brown hair tossed in sea-breeze.
I looked at him but didn’t mind answering…
“I’m James” he held out his hand …
I somehow dont want to take it but I did anyway, so he’ll move on and walk.
I shook his hand and went “busy” with writing … writing furiously of what was “NOTHING” 
then awkward. silence…
I took a glance at him … fuck he’s looking.
“and you are? ….”
“Mia” … I said without thinking.
“Mia” He smiled …. looked at his watch and “… well, nice to meet you MIA” … his tone was decent but somehow it struck me that he’s leaving when I had just said my name … well it wasn’t my name but it’s Me, talking.
I closed my diary and walked back to my cabin and readied myself for lunch. I dressed up in pretty pink with lace trimmings at the bottom and clipped my hair on both sides. I had put white socks on and …. took them off coz James might be somewhere and he’d think I’m 15.
Analeigh had just come out from the bar area and went towards me smelling like tobacco.
“there you are!” she put her arms around me as we walked out to the light and saw guests gathered in small groups cozy for lunch. Our table was a long one and the “old guys” were chatting … Analeigh had let go of me and went to a guy who was talking to a woman in dark velvet blouse… NO way she’s wearing that in the summer!
“come dear…” she put her hand on the arm of this guy who turned and saw that it was … James.
fuck that.
I smiled so fake.
“Hello…” he sounded casual.
“Katy this is James, James, Katy…”
fuck that more.
“anyway, James is dad’s new architect … don’t tell, but I think he’s really cute.”
blah.blah.blah.
I turned away and said nothing, Analeigh is used to that, I’m a monster child with no brain…of course!
Lunch has turned out to be excruciating for me, I can’t help the thought of me being silly, telling him my name is Mia, and thought he’s cute but my sister is all over him. nice Katy, very classic. I took my book out my bag and started to flip the pages, mom looked at me and said that I can be excused coz it’s for the “old guys” … I stood up and walked slow while my head is fixed on the book …
“Mia huh?” …
fuck jesus.
I looked up my book and gave him a frown.
He was smiling stupid… if it’s not for my favorite book I would’ve whacked his head with it.
“kidding…going somewhere?” His face really charming like Johnny Depp.
My throat is dry and I really dont talk much
“Nope.”
“Wanna watch a film? … I brought some.”
…He’s a Pedophile, for sure…unless he thinks I’m not 15.
“What movie?”
“Titanic”
Great. Those are the kind of films that should be banned in Ships like this. It’s like watching a memory you ought not to be reminded of…
“It’s a sinking ship movie.” I said flat.
“haha…right” he scratched his head… that’s really hot.
I went back to my book.
“you’re pretty Mia … Katy…”
It cut the tension ever so loosely…I smiled and thought he’s joking.
“I’m not…”
“yes you are…I think you’re the prettiest girl here.” His hands moving around.
“oh no. no.” my face blushing.
“So wanna hang out?”
“where?”
“Titanic…” He laughed, he’s got the cutest laugh. He is boyish and rugged, not like the type I’d like in school.
“ok.”
…
The cabin is pretty decent, there is a comfy bed with fluffy covers, the area rug is nice to my bare feet as I took off my shoes. We watched the TV than the movie Titanic coz it was pretty morbid here, really.
I was making small notes in my head trying to remember everything to write in my diary later. I was sitting on the edge of the bed rocking back and forth, somehow childish but I think it’s fine.
“you like coffee?”
“nope, lemonade…”
He called up service and I got my lemonade. He sat beside me…I felt really warm… like blushing warm.
“which college do you go to?”
“um…college?” … haha really now, he thinks I’m in college. fuck yes.
“um… in Boston of course.”
“which one?”
I felt really nervous this time… which one. which one.
“I see, you don’t wanna tell…boyfriend?”
“oh no. no….no boyfriend since birth!”
“no way…a pretty girl like you with no boyfriend?”
“nope.”
My hands were gliding up and down my lemonade glass…what if he kisses me? fuck silly, he wont kiss you.
His hands went to my face and deliberately parted my soft lips with his, I felt very warm all over and was rock solid, unmoving, I dont know what to do…I wasn’t responding.
He stopped.
“I’m sorry…”
I wiped my lips with the back of my hand. yuck. that’s what a kiss feels like? …it’s wet.
“it’s okay…”
“really? … can I kiss you again?”
“sure” braving myself.
He got my lemonade and placed it safely on the desk while he sat back and touched my cheek.
“you’re beautiful…”
shucks. he needs to stop that or I’ll believe it.
“wanna kiss again?” I asked weirdly.
He smiled and his face came closer for the kiss. This time, it was soft, his lips made little sucking bits on the top lip and the bottom, gliding his tongue gently as he moved very slowly, I had to do the same…mimicking the moves, I licked a bit when he licked a bit and softly danced with his lips, it felt very good, I wanna do this everyday…
His hands went to my neck…
“mmmnnn…goood” I wanted him to tease me there with his lips…he did went for it and started making little licks and wet marks over my neck, the feeling was nothing I’ve ever read in books, this is so gooood…
—to be continued–
( well. well. the bitch is back…haha kidding, I missed you guys, I hope you are all enjoying life…salamat po for the comments and advice in my past posts, I really appreciate the time you took to give your side, I am listening.
so Group hug? GROUP HUG!!! ‘Talk to you all as much as I can. *kisses*kisses*