Hi mga ka-PL dahil na rin sa wala akong magawa, napagtripan ko ‘tong kanta ni Cascada from June 2009, released just before my birthday. Na-inspire ako dun sa sinulat ni DDD na “This Girl Sleeps With The Butterflies”, Hope you like it!
…I still hear your voice, when you sleep next to me.
I still feel your touch in my dreams…
There I was, alone in the bedroom. Why am I still thinking of him? Siya yung umalis, hindi ako! Siya yung sumuko, hindi ako! I loved him sooo much… Earl, why did you leave me? You were my only one, bakit? bakit? Bakit…
Walang dumaan sa ulo ko kundi ang salita na “bakit”. As I try to hum myself to sleep, my heat races, my breathing hastens. I asked myself, “What IF, he was beside me right now?” I imagined him, hugging me right now and singing me a lullaby to sleep. His breath on my neck. His hands on my hips. Singing, “hush now, baby don’t you cry…”
Tears rolled down my cheek as I imagined us having our own family. Having a daughter, having jobs and staying together forever. To put it simply… I couldn’t sleep.
I drank my sleeping pills and drowned my face in my pillow, wishing that tomorrow, he was right beside me again. I closed my eyes. And soon, oh so soon… I fell into a hypnotic, forced and uneasy sleep.
I dreamt, he and I was on a rooftop of a really tall building, holding hands. He was just staring at me and then;
“Earl, please, I NEED YOU. Why did you leave me? I love you, please come back.”
“Kay, I’m sorry but. I really need to go, not that I want to but, because I want to save you. So please, open your heart, save yourself and let me go.”
He kisses me on the forehead releases my hand and runs to the edge of the building. I ran after him and hugged him. Shit! I forgot, we were on the rooftop. As I put my arms around him, we fall…
…Forgive me my weakness, but I don’t know why.
Without you it’s hard to survive….
I woke up, my alarm clock’s springing. I hit it with my heavy hand. It was already 9 am. I just realized, my other hand was already inside my nighties. I stood up and washed myself to prepare for school–and yes I’m just a student, a 4th year college student. If you’re gonna ask who is Earl, he’s my really-young English professor, and the school’s librarian on his non-teaching time. He confessed his love for me when I was just a freshman and we had a stable relationship for three years until last week, when he broke up with me to keep his credits as an “honorable” professor and to keep our relationship from being exposed. I cried for weeks thanks to him. But yet again, I can’t deny that I still loved him so much…
…As I walked down the school corridor, and there he was, walking towards my direction. I looked up to him, he did the same but immediately bowed his head down, trying to ignore me. He hastened his steps and as he does so, he bumps against me, his arm brushes against my own. I felt it., a sensation…
…Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling.
And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly.
Can’t you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.
Need you by my side…
The schoolbell rings, I rushed to my first-period class, and for the rest of the day just like the rest of the past few days of last week, I thought of nothing but him. My teachers, classmates asked me what was wrong. I replied in complete silence. They all kept saying “What has become of this top student? Ano na nangyari dun kay Kay?” I ignored them and spent the rest of the day in the library, not reading or studying, but staring… at the Librarian. As I stared at him memories, came back, that first date, that first kiss, my first bouquet of roses, the first Valentine’s day with a partner, my first anniversary, and my first sex…
… I finally, had the courage to approach him.
“Uhmmm… Sir, pwede po patulong dun sa isang topic na binabasa ko? Hindi ko po kase maintindihan eh…”
He stared at me–no, he GLARED at me. I felt the fear race up my spine. But…
“HUY! Earl! Nagpapatulong yung bata, anong gagawin mo?”
It was Mam Guttierez, the elderly and highly-respected librarian.
“Yes mam, tutulungan ko na po,” said Earl with a stressed out look on his face.
He took me behind the farthest shelf and asked;
“Anung ginagawa mo dito? Di ba sinabi ko sinabi ko sa’yo na wag mo kong susundan?”
“Eh ano bang gagawin ko? MAHAL KITA eh… Earl don’t leave me please”
I hugged him, yet he pushed me back. I was crying the whole time we had our conversation.
He wipe my tears and;
“ANO BA? WALA NA TAYO, Please Kay, don’t do this to yourself.”
I cried, suddenly, my vision fades; I can’t breathe, the world stirs as my eyes black out.
“Kay? Kay? Gising! Kay!…”
Those last words echoed on my head. I lost myself.
…Cause everytime we touch, I feel this static.
And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky.
Can’t you hear my heart beat so. I can’t let you go.
Want you in my life…
I wake up, I was already in the infirmary: Earl was on my side. I saw the schoolnurse exit the room. We were left alone.
“What happened?”
“Anong nangyari? Nahimatay ka lang naman sa library at kinailangan pa kitang buhatin papunta dito.”
“Oh my gosh Earl, I’m so sorry”
“Sa susunod kasi, wag kang mag-sleeping pills; lalo na kung di ka sigurado sa side effects…”
He smiles and kisses me on the forehead. But I grabbed onto him, not letting him go.
“Kay, don’t do this, please.”
I didn’t listen and started pecking on his chin, up to his lips. I gave him a deep kiss. I dragged him onto the bed, he maybe handsome but still, he was like any other nerd I know, easy to push and pin. The door was close to us, so I pinned him down, scrolled down the blinds and locked the door. I was on top of him and french kissed his lips. I didn’t mind my dizziness or headache, just THE moment. He was unable to hold himself, and soon, he started kissing back…
He was like my guinea pig as I slowly went down his pants and unzipped it. I licked his hard-on from outside his brief. I saw his face blush with pleasure. I kept on teasing him ’til I couldn’t help myself but to lick his skin. I lowered his underwear and his hard-on suddenly pops out. I used my hand and started to stroke hid dick.
“Kay, put your ass up to my face.”
I knew then that he was asking for a 69, so I did what he wanted. I took of my skirt and put my pussy in front of his face. I licked his dick and started to massage his balls with my fingers. I hear him groan, that single sound made me wet. Then suddenly;
“Ahhhh…”
Earl licked my pussy from the outside of my panties. I can feel his tongue playing and teasing my clit… “Ahhhh… Fuck! ” I didn’t let myself lose and proceeded to sucking his cock. I swallowed it as far as my wee mouth can go. I slid his shaft inside my mouth and rhythmically synchronized with his licking. Everytime he hits a very sensitive spot, my body convulses and so does my mouth. Periodically tightening my mouth and in turn, giving him more pleasure…
… I couldn’t moan for my mouth is congested by his dick. But still, I approached climax thanks to his cunnilingus expertise. I could not believe that I was about to come from stimulation from OUTSIDE my panties. I felt ashamed and aroused at the same time. I sucked his dick as hard as I could, keeping myself from orgasm to make sure that we come together…
“Ahhh… Fuck! Kay! Kay! I’m coming!”
…As soon as I felt his dick throb, I loosened my control over my orgasm. He finally comes and so do I. His semen rushes down my throat, and I assured that not one drop slips off my mouth. My panties are soaked in my love juice. I fall down, so exhausted… I felt myself fade to sleep. His cum was all the medicine I need. I felt him carry me and tuck me into sleep, another kiss on the forehead and… a hug…
…Your arms are my castle, your heart is my sky.
They wipe away tears that I cry.
The good and the bad times, we’ve been through them all.
You make me rise when I fall….
Does he still love me? What has become of us… I helplessly asked myself as I fell into a deep trance.
….Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling.
And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly.
Can’t you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.
Need you by my side.
Cause everytime we touch, I feel this static.
And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky.
Can’t you hear my heart beat so.
I can’t let you go.
Want you in my life…