Confessions of a stupid guy

Author Name: Survivor | Source: pinoyliterotica.com

Hello again everyone. Technically speaking, this would be my first official post, but as some of you already know too well, I was responsible for a hell of a tear jerking story posted a few weeks ago. Not my idea though, to make some of you cry for my misfortune, or should I say, tragic love story. Barely a love story, really… And yes, my apology for starting a wave of… Hmmm??? I forgot river_cool’s term. But thanks to you and to PL, I am able to channel my emotional frustrations by expressing my thoughts and hopefully, on contributing to make PL the best erotic site in the country. I wish…

Of course, I also have to offer my apology for the lack of sexual stimulants on my previous post. Sad to say, you may find this post a little dull on the subject, again. I’m hoping I’d compensate on that by writing a witty and humorous story of my, well, dull and on the stupid side of life. Sex life that is…

I always thought that writing an erotic story is an art form in its own right. How do you give emotions to two people on the verge of sensual explosion just by writing a few words? How do you make the story so vivid that you almost feel you are a participant to an exciting event, one that would culminate on either a trip to your bed room for a quick release of pressure on your own or with someone who has the same love for amorous adventure like you? Lopezboy, Recoil, Barny, I always envy writers who can give that kind of life to their erotic stories.

I’ve decided I can’t compete with these guys, for now. I’d have to learn a bit more from what these guys can offer. And a little sexual adventures of my own? Hmmm… Why not? But then, I also had my own share of past sexual foolishness. Not much, but it made me a bit wiser in life. It’s just that, I am a bit respectful of people, and telling my stories often risks taking respect away from the people who had in one way or another, been part of my story. I will tell those stories eventually; I just hope I can give due respect to them because they deserve it. I have to. I’m too old to be a jerk, just too young to forget sex… 65 years old is still young right? Now where did I put my pustiso?

For now, I guess I’m going to have to stick with what I’m really good at. Embarrassing myself…

Some guys can smell a horny hot chick’s wet dripping pussy a mile away like wolves tracking their prey. Only this time, the prey would live, leaving her with only cherished memories of their big juicy wangs, and their more than usual elongated tongue. Whew! I wish I have that instinct, and the confidence to match that instinct… And the smarts as well… I’m more of a dumb animal. Not a prey, but hardly considered a sex hunter. I might not even recognize a good night out even if a girl approached me and say “Baby, I’m ready for the shagging tonight…”. I would be so excited that I’d rush to the store in the middle of the night to buy her a banana. I’d even be so dumb to ask her what banana she wants to eat. Saba, Latondan, or Lacatan? Shagging anyone???

I’ve always been like this since I was young. Very low confidence level… Maybe because I never see myself as good looking enough for any babe. I don’t even like to look at the mirror; much less have my picture taken. Maybe I’m a narcissist with an image problem? Or maybe it really was about my confidence? But then, I remember eliciting a couple of flirty smiles and looks from some really hot babe way back my high school and college days. The one where the babe would flash a strange look and smiles at you, and then bit their lips afterward. And I remember always looking from side to side as well as my back to check for any cute guys near me and finding none. Nah, the guy was there, he just left in a flash…

And yes, I remember being uncomfortable with gays… No, I don’t hate them. Just don’t look at me like you want to eat me and we can even be best buddies. The problem is that, I often get such unwanted attention from the members of the third sex. Makes me think I’m wearing a German helmet on my head… I still get those attentions even today.

And I remember two girls crying a flood of tears when I pulled the plug on them back in high school… I was more than a hundred percent stupid back then, and two girls wasted a lot of tears for a stupid guy. Even stupid guys hate being clueless you know. I never took anything from them. Much less their virginity. Why waste all those tears for nothing? For some guys, it would have been an ego boosting experience. For me, it’s more of a karma fright… Am I gay? Nah… I’ve decided long ago that tahong tastes better than sausage, and more nutritious too. You can even it raw…

High school… I remember high school. I passed it with flying colors. It’s true! Most guys would be so spent trying to pass their high school subjects that by graduation time, they were crawling on the graduation stage to get their diploma. Me? I never passed any of my major exams, never passed my quizzes, didn’t do my homework, yet I pass my subjects. That’s what passing with flying colors is all about. Problem was that, I was clueless about algebra when I went to college. I passed high school never knowing there is such a thing as a negative numbers in math.

I remember my algebra teacher, Ms. Nazareno. Ohhh… Ms. Nazareno… The object of every male student’s fantasy. I’d lost count how many times I went to the CR every time I think of her… I never pass any of her quizzes, her exams, yet I passed her subject when my equally stupid classmates failed. I remember the way she looks at me every time she asks me questions. Those favors she asks me when she’s busy with her teaching tasks like checking my classmate’s exam papers and my own, always giving me the freedom to cheat my quizzes and exams. I was so stupid to even think of doctoring my own test exams when I have all the chance to do it. Yet she always finds a way to give me a passing grade. She was a kind teacher… The kind you’d want to marry for love and lust, and have a dozen kids with. Ms. Nazareno… Hey, wait a minute… There’s only one hand on my keyboard. Where’s the other one? You pervert hand! Get back on the keyboard and help your brother!!!

Truth is, I was the virgin when I decided to do it with my wife. Funny isn’t it? She’s the one deciding to keep a virgin instead of the other way around. Hahaha! I still remember the first time we did it. We took a short time room and it only took us a shorter time to do it. Less than an hour… I was so excited about my first time that I forgot to make her come. Gosh! I was so lame back then…

How do I describe my wife? Well, she’s not a beauty pageant type. Not ugly, not too pretty either. She’s the type you wouldn’t take a second look when she enters a room, but when she talks, people definitely listens. I guess that’s what makes her very sexually appealing, the type people really take seriously. And never mess with her intellect unless you really have something to say. No, she’s not the intimidating type, she just have that unique ability to expose a person for what they really are. Never play too smart with her, never play too dumb either. She would put any man to shame with her no nonsense attitude in work and in life. She’d put me to shame every time I was in a slacking mood. But man, do I love her big JLo behind. Whew! And yeah, I’m not the only guy who shares a more than average fascination with her during our college days.

Why did she choose me? I really have no idea. She’s never the type who goes for looks. I guess she saw something in me that I never see myself. Or maybe I was just lucky to be at her side in her time of self-reflections on her failing romance with her boyfriend of almost ten years. I eventually nailed her just by being patient with her, being there when she need someone.

I remember the first time I had her cornered, or maybe she’s the one doing the maneuvering. She asked me if I want to come to her house with her classmates for a group project. I was there listening to their ideas, always planning my own strategy on how I could bang her. I did get my chance when they decided to end the night, my night was just starting. We were alone in her room… Before she knew it, I had her clothes except her panty removed in a slow but deliberate fashion. I never got to bang her that night, she refused, and I had to respect her wish. Though later, she admitted, had I pressed further she would have given in to my desire. I should have pressed my luck. That night was a very special night for me because I could have taken her in her own room, in her own house, which she and her boyfriend had invested in. That night would have been a pride for me. Later she had to let go of that house for peace’s sake. Her boyfriend insisted it’s his money.

Yeah, I remember the thing we did inside the EDSA bus. We were alone at the back of the bus, and the seats have unusually high back rest, you’d never see anyone at the back. So I asked her to go down on me, she look at me for a moment then proceeded to do me. I wouldn’t have taken it against her had she refused. But then, here was this smarter than smart girl going down and dirty for her man. I fell madly in love with her that night…

Our marriage was relatively a bliss. We had a couple of adorable kids. We don’t have much but we’re making ends meet. We had arguments, but we never let the sun go down without settling our differences. She’s a stabilizer in my otherwise erratic life. It never occurred to me there was a crack in our otherwise relatively idyllic marriage. And never had I imagine the crack would be so wide it threatened to split us apart…

Continuation…