i got my third story finished but i decided to leave it for a moment and share this one instead. this is NON-SEXUAL. its just, one’s experience made me relive my short-lived-not-so-typical fairy tale.
soulsister, thanks for the inspiration.
‘he was the jester to this damned queen when the king left the castle to be with a monster.’
sometime late last year, after my break up with my boyfriend of 4years, he added me up on facebook. knowing him to be the famous drummer of an underground rock band, and a friend of my ex, i confirmed the invite. months passed and he remained to be just another name on my list. until the 3rd of January, this year; when i saw him online. i sent him hello and there, it all started. we talked for hours. sweet nothings and shit. we recalled good old days and discussed whats in the present. i learned that he likes me.
he calls himself my stalker cause since the time we were first introduced, he likes me. from the time Jep and I got together, til the time he saw me again at a gig in manila. he knows he still do. he has a girlfriend then and i am with jep but he likes me. what made it worst was i had not a even single clue.
he told me he was silently waiting – probably wishing that there can be a time for US. he knew it was wrong but he can’t help it. he watches over me through the years and claims to never miss a thing about me. true enough, i had the creeps confirming every single info he has of me. its like i am reading a part of my life through his chatposts.
‘the jester danced ’til he can sway no more, sing ’til he can hum no more, joke ’til he can kid no more… all for the attention of her beloved queen.’
days passed and we both look forward to 9pm of everyday since we chatted. he made me feel such a priority. i felt important. i felt loved more than what i had. even more than what i deserve. we’re getting so into each other that its too late to turn our backs away from each other. its wrong and we know that; hence, we enjoyed each others company, trying not to be caught off guard. insisting we stay more than friends, but definitely less than lovers. one day, i went to manila to get some stuff from my old unit and i met up with him. it was one of the happiest moments i had. i have him next to me – tangible. being the old acquaintance we were, its funny theres tension rising. we stopped by a coffee shop and talked it through. the talk was smooth ’til “i decided to marry Jean when i learned you and Jep are engaged.” he said. “i decided to marry Jep when i thought nobody can love me better.” i replied. tears flow, emotions burst.
‘he was a king himself chose to be this queen’s jester while her own lady didn’t have a clue.’
his name is Wolf, married. and me, I am his mistress. his comforting words and motivation soothed the bitterness in me – he complimented me the way Jep never did; he loved me tops the way Jep ever made me feel. i got into an affair with him with just the faith that he loves me so much. from the beginning and still going. his assuring acts made me be at my safest. i know, i’ve fallen. and i took it. not caring whats waiting at the bottom of the cliff, i jumped. i could die; but at the end of it, i know i am dying happy.
‘the queen took the jester’s hand. off to their own paradise they go.’
we continued talking like how we started. chat, long phone calls, text messages – but this time, its deeper. its lovelier. i could’ve thanked insomnia for it helped me stay up while he is in the office, which is the only time we can talk. he works for a BPO in makati. wednesday, a week after, he went to see me here in subic. he was originally from here but migrated to manila for more than 8years now. he took a leave from work but told his wife he should be in the office early. he left home 6pm and catched the 7pm trip to olongapo. he arrived a little past 10. “room 1911″ he texted. he got a room for us. no one should see us together. thats the saddest part. our common friends would kill us. they know he’s married and i am being taken care of by the brood. of course thats overrated. we know they would understand us in time but today isn’t for explaining to anyone. we wanted this very limited time for ourselves.
‘for a moment they were not who they really were. they’re just simply lovers.’
for the first time, after the door was shut, and the world is ours, he hugged me tight. its like he want to squeeze me in inside his body. he held my hand, he took me to the bed. i sat down, he placed himself next to me. he stared at me and i can’t take it, i looked down. he touched my chin, raise my head up, and he kissed me.
‘here, jester is a joker no more, and she is not a queen to anyone any longer.’
gentle pecks turned into passionate kisses. he took the lead and i just followed. we made love. he turned on my slut switch and gave him one hell of a night yet he sees me like an angel. we made love. he turned into a sex beast and pounded me hard and rough but i see him like a baby. we made love. we turned us sinners but we see us inlove. “i love you jimi.” he moaned. “i love you too, wolf” i cried. tears fell but it isn’t of pain… that i am sure.
‘we be the prince and the princess, and this is our love story.’
we enjoyed each other that whole night and i drove him to the terminal 4am. he kissed me bye and got off the car without looking back. he sat on the bus, and from where i am, i saw him crying. that melted me so much. i know we’re inlove. we went on and from time to time we have our getaways. quite a few understanding friends knew about us and we’re fine.
‘frowning clown he is, for the queen cried once again.’
everything was fine until he was promoted. he had tons of workload and the chatting stopped, phone calls were cut short, text messages sent seldom. it was also the time when i learned that his wife already gave in to his request of having a baby. once again, i felt doomed. the fall went faster and bumpier and started to hurt me. from our monthly getaways to celebrate our day, to letting 11th of the month pass without a single word. when i thought i can’t take it anymore, i braved up and went to see him. i talked to him about it and i know he is sorry.
‘the queen orders the jester to leave, but he just danced.’
everything now’s a stab. i love him so much but i am so hurting. the same thing for him. “i don’t want you to get hurt. i don’t want you to cry.” he said. “i know how hard things are going our way. you can let go if you have to.” i uttered. we were crying and we don’t know when will the last teardrop fall, but before it did, he wiped my tears and said “call me selfish. but i love you and ending this will NEVER come from me.” he kissed my forehead and walked away. from then, i didn’t see him anymore. very seldom he updates his fb, and never phone me up. i guess its meant to happen this way. making us getting used to one’s absence. this is the hardest and the most painful goodbye; the one his lips never said, and my ears never heard.