It was Sunday morning then. I am driving my car don’t know exactly where to go. Lutang ang isip ko. Just drown into listening love songs sa cd player ng kotse.
Almost nine years na din, since grade 6 ako and now am 21. Siya pa rin nasa sip ko. Does first love really never dies? I guess, yes.
” Every time our eyes meet.
This feeling inside me is almost more than I can take.
Baby, when you touch me
I can feel how much you love me
And it blows me away
I’ve never been this close to anyone or anything
I can hear your thoughts, I can hear yourdreams..
I don’t know how you do what you do
I’m so inlove with you
It just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life, with you by my side
Forever and ever.
Every little thing that you do
Baby, I’m amazed by you.”
Now playing Amazed by Lonestar. Arrghh..Tinatamaan ako. I don’t know why kapag inlove ako I can’t get rid on playing repeated love songs kahit angsakit na ng tenga ko.
Hayy..still namimiss ko siya. I thought, nakalimutan ko na siya coz its almost 9years na din na we haven’t seen each other since grumaduate kami ng elementary. Marami na rin ako naging relationship but still at the back of my mind is my dream na maging kami someday.
Ever since nagka friendster way back, I constantly post comments sa profile niya. Nangangamusta and asking kung galit ba siya sa akin coz I don’t get any response yet ni ha o ho. Until namulat ako sa facebook, college na ko nun ofcourse. I researched yung name niya and got to see yung account niya and add it up. Again, tried to message si firstlove asking if graduating na ba siya kasi ako hindi pa coz I have stop for two years after graduating on highschool.
Luckily one day, nagreply si firstlove. Binigay digits niya and say na text text na lang daw kami. Globe subscriber, eh sun user pa ako that time but sinave ko pa rin syempre then later on ay tinext ko siya at nagpakilala ako. Got no reply, siguro dahil wala siyang. load but hope to get one soon.
Years has passed, 19 ako nun. We got the chance to meet again. Nagmamadali pa akong umuwi from school and decided din na huwag na sumabay sa girlfriends ko to hang out.
Late ako nakarating sa meeting place. Nakita ko si firstlove nakaupo sa isang sulok, nakayuko at abala sa cp niya. Ni hindi nya napansin na andun na ko papalapit sa kanya till I say “Hi”. Well, nagulat siya slight. I apologize for being late. Okay lang namn daw coz alam niya rin naman na miss ko siya so naghintay talaga siya. To label it, Parang MU kami ng elementary.Hahaha..Nagsusulatan kami ng love letter.Hehe..Grade6 lang kami nagkakilala coz transferee siya that time. Banas pa nga ko sa kanya at first coz naaartihan ako sa kanya. Until naramdaman ko na lang na parang natutuwa ako makita siya araw-araw at nakukuryente ako kapag nagkakadikit kaming dalawa kahit siko lang.Hahaha..Quite funny pero parang the more you hate the more you love yung naramdaman ko sakanya.
So ayun, We ate sa isang fastfood resto halfway. I’ve opened up a topic. Nangamusta bout sa kanyang college life and ask bout our former classmates and friends. Well, our talk went good naman
Nahiya lang ako magtanong that time if committed ba siya. Gabi na rin noon so we decided to go home. Parehas lang kami ng town so nagsabay na din kami sa sasakyan. Got a ride padaan ng NLEX.
Paalis na yung Fx, napahugot ako ng cp at may tinext. Nakiusisa si first love nakita niya sa inbox puro name ng classmate ko na lagi kong binabanggit sa GM. Napatanong siya kung sino yun jowa ko daw ba. Hindi ako nakasagot at first but I said, “Hindi ah..”
“Weh..ano yan babae o lalake?”
Napangiti ako, sa loob loob ko ganun talaga ang tanong? hahaha..well, I just answered, “Secret”.
“ikaw may jowa ka na?” I asked.
“Secret” sagot niya.
“weh..”
“haha..”
Di na ko nagpumilit magtanong at baka mas silly pa ibalik niyang itanong sa akin. That time, siyempre magkatabi kami sa seat. I almost wanted to hug firstlove, but to shy to do it, ofcourse.
Maya maya, isinara niya mabuti window ng Fx coz mahangin. Am on the side so definitely, masasagi nya ko nang isara nya bintana. Gosh…nakuryente ako.Hahaha..Hayy..sayang saglit lang yun.
Till, we get near sa terminal sa town namin. Hindi ako bumaba sa kanto na dinaanan ng Fx kung saan andun yung way papunta sa bahay namin.
“Oh, bakit hindi ka pa. bumaba?” tanong niya.
“Eh, paki mo?Hehe…Ayoko ko pa eh”
Huminto na yung Fx. Bumaba na kami at hinatid ko siya sa may sakayan ng tricycle and say goodbye.
Pagkatapos nun, am a little bit happy but disappointed. Nagtaray na naman ako. Tanga ko talaga. Baka naoffend ko siya sa tone ng voice ko when I said “Paki mo”. hayyy..engot ko..
After that, di na nasundan pagkikita namin. Madalang na din siya magreply sa text ko. Until umiral na naman pagiging immature ko. Sa totoo lang kapag naaalala ko yun naiinis ako. Nagmukha akong disperado. Puno ako ng pagiinarte that time samantalang wala naman akong puwang sa puso niya.
I ended up crying all night. Listening to love songs again. Nagsisi ako dahil binuhay ko pa ang pagmamahal ko sa kanya.
Until nawalan na nga kami ng communication. Still have contact number ni firstlove, but decided not to text anymore. Magmumukha lang akong kawawa. Besides masaya naman na siya sa relationship niya ngayon kaya hindi na ako dapat makigulo pa.
I have stopped my car and parked sa isang convenience store. Bumaba ako ng kotse at pumasok sa con.store. Pumunta sa snacks section. Humanap ng makakain. I grab some chocolates then pumunta sa beverages at kumuha ng bottled tea. I used to eat chocolates when I’m depressed and frustrated.
Nagbayad na ko sa counter at bumalik na din kaagad sa kotse. Started to eat my chocolate and drive. I decided to go back home.
Almost two hours ang biyahe. Pagdating ng bahay, diretso ako ng kwarto. I’d rest for a while then take a bath. Nagbihis ako at dumiretso sa bed to take a nap. Alas sais na ng gabi that time.
Bago ako makatulog, I decided to check my account sa PL. Opened up my laptop and connect to the internet. Still no progress to my write ups.Hahaha…But feels okay coz meron namang mga bolerong tao sa ym saying my story was good. But I know, I still needs improvement. And there’s someone who constantly read my stories who then becomes my so called “loveteam”.
Days gone by. My name then resounds @PL. Got comments and emails from bisexual people commenting on the loveteam.
The loveteam goes good at first, but it ended up for some sort of reasons. Got happy when I met her and almost love her, honestly. But decided not to pursue the feeling coz I felt that it wouldn’t work.
During those times, got emails from a girl whom tries to become an adviser for the loveteam. I don’t know what really interests her at first to email me sincerely. Pero hindi ko naman minasama yung pagemail niya sa akin.
Till isang araw, when I need someone to talk to andun siya to caress me. And that was the start. From then I commit myself to response on her emails as so as she.
Two weeks after, I asked her to be my gf and happy to have a good response. Though gusto ko sana na maging kami na when we meet kaso parang ang tagal and am afraid to lose her. This feeling of giving myself, my being and my whole heart again to someone I love. Ngayon ko lang ulit naramdaman after my first gf. The feeling that you want to be with that person for the rest of your life. She feels the same way and am glad to be, I just don’t expect that this will happen but I had the instinct. Now, I wonder what’s with in me that she have loved. She’s too much for me, she’s wonderful inside and out. Yes, I have seen her thru pictures. Others may say that pictures may lie, but I don’t really care with the pictures I care about her. Love her just the way she is.
So its like a LDR though she’s just in the Metro. She’s too busy from work and still fixing her schedule for us to meet.
We continued our communication through emails until we just text. Continue to give each other virtual hugs and kisses.
For two weeks too that I haven’t visited by my lust. Honestly, and I don’t know why though I read some stories @PL. It turns me on but hindi siya natutuloy. Hahaha….What I feel is love..love…love…love and love…I almost wanted to shout and say I LOVE YOU…!
I don’t care if some of you wouldn’t like this post but this makes me happy. So, “no me importa”.
One night, my gf and I are texting. Texting words of love and words of kisses and hugs.
“Hon, can I hear you saying this words to me?”, I texted.
“Tawag ako Hon?”, she replied.
“Hindi sulat ka.Hahaha…”
“Haha..cge wait lang tawag ako.”
Hindi na ko nagreply. I am lying now on my bed and waited for my phone to ring.
“God gave me you, to show me what’s real
Ther’s no more to life than just how I feel
And all that I’m worth is right before my eyes
And all that I live for though I didn’t know why
Now I do, coz God gave me you…”
It was my phone ringing..I answered.
“yep”, bungad ko.
“Hon..”
“uhhm?”
“I love you…”
“I love you too…”
“san na nga tayo?” my gf asked.
“Sa neck…
“Haha..ambilis sumagot ahh..”
“Siyempre”, sabi ko.”
My gf has stopped for a while. Ako naman tahimik lang din. Nakapikit nagiimagine. Hehe..Waiting for what she would say next.
“Hon…I love you…” she said.
“I love you too..”
“hmmm…” paghinga niya ng malalim.
“Kiss kita on your upper lip, then to your lower..mmuahhh…”
The moment she said muah, got a goose bumps. Yung mahabang pagbigkas niya ng muahh..and naiiwan ung hininga at nagmimistulang ungol yung dulong bigkas.
I remain silent and still closed eyed. Letting my imaginations work. I cannot response or rather say I don’t know what to response. Tagal ng wala akong practice hahaha…
“Hon…..hhmmm..suck ko lower lip mo and occassionaly licking it”, she continued.
“Pasok ko tongue ko sa mouth mo. Lick your gums and teeth. Then lick ko rin roof ng mouth mo.”
She continued as I response only deep breathes. Still listening carefully to what my gf would say. Extend my phone’s volume to the maximum.
“Then kiss kita to your jawline. Plant kisses on your cheeks papunta sa ears mo. Lick ko back of your ears and nibble. Pasok ko tongue ko and lick ko yung lobe.”
Hindi ko alam sasabihin ko that time neither what to do. Nakasteady lang ako sa pagkakahiga. I wanted to say that I like to hear her moan kaso nahihiya ako and besides I know na baka nahihiya pa siya gawin yun coz it’s her first time.
“Baba ko kiss ko hon sa neck mo..mmuahh…and lick going to your collarbone. I’ll put my hand under your shirt and massage your sides. I’ll lick unto your shoulders then to your throat tas paakyat ulit sa lips mohh..kiss kita and suck your lips..and massage ko breast mo hon..touch it from the base and move my fingertips in circling motion. Tanggalin ko na hook ng bra mo hon…hhmmm…then hubarin ko na and throw it on the floor.hehe…Hawakan ko nipples mo hon…Laruin ko and will make it harder. Baba ko na ulit kiss ko to your neck and lick. Hubarin ko na din shirt mo hon..hhmmm…and….lick kita pababa to your chest.”
Patuloy ako sa paghinga ng malalim. Nakikinig..tahimik..sinasaisip at snasapuso ang bawat galaw na sabihin niya.
My gf continuous. “I’m on my playmates now honey. Slowly, Ill give your breast gentle kisses and lick. My other hand is playing the right. Kiss ko yung pinaka base, paikot then have a landing to your nipple. Lick ko and suck. Gonna make it harder honn…hhmm…Himas ko sides mo hon..then play your breasts with my tongue..alternate.”
Our convo’s getting hotter and I really don’t know what to response.
“Hon…still there?”,she asked.
“uhm.”
“Tuloy ko pa?”
“Yes, please”, I answered.
“Kiss ko abdomen mo. Lick ako pababa sa pusod slowly. Lick ko yung waistline mo then punta ko sa pusod and lick.”
Toot..toot.toot…Naputol na yung tawag. Grrr… After a minute, nagring ulit phone ko. Sinagot ko din agad.
“Hon…”
“Yes…”
“I love you..”
“I love you too.”
“Tuloy ko pa?’ she asked.
“Uum”, sabi ko.
She takes a deep breath and start again. “Kiss ako ulit sa abdomen mo then to your sides. Down again to your waistline mahal…massage ko legs mo then your breasts again…biting the garter of your shorts honey…”
She stops for a moment. “honn…still there?”
“uum”, my short reply.
“Tuloy ko ba?”
“Alam mo na ba gagawin?Hehe…”
“Haha…ituturo mo naman diba?”
I answered a sigh. We remain silent for a minute till nadisconnect ulit tawag. Nag isip ako habang di pa siya nakakakonek ulit. Ipatutuloy ko ba? Haha… That moment kasi I don’t really feel lust, promise…what I feel is love. Nagawa niya yun for me. Its her first time! And asking for nothing in return. Ni tahimik lang ako habang nagsasalita siya. I almost wanted to kiss and hug her kung magkasama lang kami.
Three minutes has passed and nakatawag na ulit siya. I answered her call again. It was past 12 midnight na that time.
ITUTULOY…:)